If you follow me on twitter, you’ve heard about the 90 Types of Bitches list as per a DC third grader. The list, while slightly disturbing, is hilarious. Comedic gold. I decided to take to video and give you some of my favorites from the list, plus add a few extras. Check the full list andiamnotlying.com/2010/types-of-bitches and enjoy the vid.
I caught this from a friend on facebook and I felt the need to share. Pretty good stuff [LMAO]
Little boy goes to his dad and asks, ‘What is Politics?’
Dad says, ‘Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I am the head of the family, so call me The President.Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her theGovernment. We are here to take care of your needs, so we will call youthe People. The nanny, we will consider her theWorking Class.And your baby brother, we will call him the Future. Now think about that and see if it makes sense.
‘So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him.He finds that the baby has severelysoiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parent’s room and finds his mother asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny’s room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed.
The next morning, the little boy says to his father, ‘Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now.’The father says,’Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about.’The little boy replies,’The President is screwing the Working Class while the Government is sound asleep.The People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit.
Hey, so I don’t normally post music on this blog unless I’m clowning it in some way but I wanted to share this project with you. As you’ve probably noticed (if you cared, lol) I’ve been absent from posting regularly on this blog. The reason why is a project that I was wrapping up over at TheMadBloggers.com (my first blogging home). It was a huge series called “The Journey to Hip-Hop … Milwaukee”, in which we spotlighted producers and emcees from the Milwaukee area. Our end all to the series was this compilation. For those curious, we definitely plan to spotlight more cities/regions. Our next area of focus will be announced soon.
Anyway, we are very pleased with this final product.
A sincere thanks to the talented emcees and producers who lent their tracks for this compilation. Milwaukee has amazing talent and we’re happy we could be a part of spotlighting it.
We know we may have missed some people but this was our humble attempt to spotlight as much of Milwaukee’s Hip-Hop as we could find.
Go ahead and enjoy MKE’s Best for FREE.99!
themadbloggers.bandcamp.com/album/mkes-best-draft
themadbloggers.bandcamp.com/album/mkes-best-light
Yeah, yeah, yeah … I’m still on a bit of a blogging hiatus. Not on purpose but I’m trying to wrap up a big project over at themadbloggers.com. I’ll be back to a regular schedule next week. I caught this vid on twitter and felt the need to share.
There’s no secret how I felt about “We Are the World 25″ with the lack of sangers (yes, sangers) and the inclusion of auto-tune, T-Pain and that gawd awful rap choir at the end. Folks keep telling me, “Q, it’s not about who was on it but the cause.” With all due respect, eff that argument! This youtube version is >>>>>>>>>>> than the “We Are the World 25″. Purely my opinion (but pretty close to fact). While this version is not perfect, I respect it way more. It might be that lack of auto tune and absence of T-Pain, I don’t know. Check it out and you tell me.
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I guess the question is, were you ever? Were you ever down with Tiger? He plays golf. You don’t care. He had an affair (or fifty-leven of them) and you laughed. And now three months after jacking up his Caddy in a barefoot quick getaway, Tiger Woods breaks his silence with a press conference. What will Tiger say? My guess, “this is Tiger …” But what do I know.
So, what do you think Tiger will say?
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There I was standing in an aisle at the grocery store trying to figure out which vanilla extract to get (sidebar: yeah, don’t get the imitation or your ass might be going back to the store).
Then the guy next to me said, “damn, prices keep going up.”
I nodded my head in agreement and offered, “yeah, it’s crazy.”
He replied with, “I guess you have to do what you gotta do *sigh* I’ll just get this and go ahead and charge it to the Game.”
He walked away and I stood there puzzled. His last statement made me wonder, who was he and what gave him the authority to charge some piecrust to the Game?
As a matter of fact, who the eff is the “Game” and why are so many people charging things to it?
I know it’s not Game the rapper.
As my mind wandered, I wondered many other things about this mysterious Game. How good is the Game’s credit? What type of credit limit does the Game have? Who the hell pays the Game’s balance due? And how the hell do you get the authority to charge things to it? Is there a credit check? Probably not, because waaaaaaaaaaaaay too many black folks charge things to the Game and you know their credit scores are (insert the rest of stereotype here). Perhaps the Game offers those pre-paid Rush Card that you deposit money into (or street cred or some other form of currency). I don’t know.
Well, according to Urban Dictionary, “Charge it to the Game” is a phrase that means: “a life learned lesson; an expression used by a person when that person does not feel accountable for a certain chain of events or there is nothing one can do about a certain situation; When something doesn’t go the way you want it to or you do something wrong, and there is nothing you can do to change it.”
But what does Urban Dictionary really know.
You know with everyone over charging things to the Game, I’m surprised Obama hasn’t dug into his Negro dialect bag of tricks and said, “Damn, this deficit is kicking our ass. Biden, go ahead and charge this to the Game!” Or maybe he has. Or maybe Biden has. Yeah, Biden probably has.
You know what? I’m going to start abusing my charging power to the Game too.
I’m going out Saturday night, buying out the bar and when the tab comes, I’m charging it to the Game. And when I go to jail for that shit, I’m charging my bail to the Game too. And my defense attorney, he’ll be charged to the Game as well. It will be one hell of a Game charging frenzy. I might even charge a nice suit to wear to court to the Game.
Sometimes I do feel bad for the Game though. Why? Because the Game is probably some old white man with an AMEX Black Card pissed with all this identity fraud. He’s probably looking at his card statement right now like, “who the hell charged getting caught cheating on my card?! Dfasdfkdaflekasfdhek.”
Or perhaps the Game isn’t a person at all but yet another overused bit of language corrupted by its mainstream use, causing it to have lost its initial meaning.
Nah, that can’t be it.
Either way, go ahead and charge this post to the Game and throw in a charge for yourself too and get something nice.
Follow me: twitter.com/throatchopu
PS: if you didn’t sense the sarcasm, you’re obviously on the wrong website. Throat Chop yourself for good measure. Thanks, Management
Haha.
I told myself that I wasn’t going to write about this “We Are the World” remake last night. I had already done a video and blog on the subject pre-release and those words I still stand by but I had to say a little more.
If you were following me on twitter Friday night or early Saturday morning, many of these words will be familiar. At the onset let me say, I understand the cause for which the song was made. I respect the cause too. And while not EVERY part of the song was bad, there were some parts that could have easily been cut.
My first issue is the snippet video run during the Winter Olympic Games Opening Ceremonies. Why that video? That was probably the poorest reflection of what the song truly was. What was the rationale in throwing up the Fergie solo and Lil Wayne solo and that rap chorus? You left the sangers out (this seems to be a common theme with this tribute). There weren’t many sangers in that preview/promo/snippet or whatever you want to call it. That can easily be classified as a fail.
I think it’s dope that MJ was kept in this version but the Janet Jackson overlay without her really singing is like that MJ tribute during the MTV awards where we weren’t really sure if that was her or Mike singing (but we were sure that she was lip syncing). Janet is cool but that overlay, nah homie.
THEN, I watched the full video, slightly more pleased at seeing and hearing more sangers but very pissed at the autotune inclusion. VERY, VERY PISSED! [Read: I should kick someone's ass over this] Why the autotune? Why, why, why?! It’s apparent that Quincy Jones didn’t listen to “D.O.A.” But not only is autotune included, they throw in the autotune Kings (and Queen) Lil Wayne, Akon and T-Pain. How do you have a sanger like Anthony Hamilton in the studio for example and you give a mini solo to T-Pain? Or Lil Wayne? Yeah, doesn’t make much sense to me either. Someone should be dragged to the center of town and shot with shit and killed for stinking (© My grandma) for that. Really?
Oh and Jamie Foxx doing the Ray Charles thing … throat chop that!
THEN there is the rap chorus, for the lack of a better phrase, at the end. Yeah, you could have left that out too. The rappers are the clowns that get cut from chorus in high school but desperately want to be in it. Yeah, LL Cool J, go back to NCIS or whatever that show is and let sangers sang. I’m pretty sure Snoop Dogg was high too. We are however fortunate that Swizz was in the studio and there weren’t any bells and whistles (literally) on the track. I can claim that as a small victory.
I think my overall issue is I remember quite vividly being a child and listening and watching the original “We Are the World” the night it premiered. I remembered the anticipation. I remembered how cool I thought it was. My only anticipation of this “We Are the World 25″ or remake or remix or whatever they are calling it was, “please lawd don’t let them fuck it up.” But much like many things from the 80’s, folks from music and Hollywood have reached back and done too much, and in turned ruined it. (Sidebar: when they mess up my beloved A-Team, cause I know they will, there is going to be a BIG problem. My throat chop hand is already on standby ready for that.)
I understand much like the original, this remake is a reflection of the music of the day. That’s a shame. It’s actually a damn shame. It’s very obvious with the inclusion of Justin Bieber (I have underwear older than him) and T-Pain (who needs to set his vocal chords on fire) and Lil Wayne (did he have a cup in his hand), Quincy Jones and Lionel Richie were merely playing the game, instead of staying true and including top quality artists on this remake.
At the end of the day, I’m disappointed. We deserved better. A tribute for Haiti deserved better. I can’t purchase this song, as much as I’ve been supporting the Haiti Relief. I’ll download the original “We Are the World” and donate more money to the American Red Cross or Yele. But this song, will NOT get a dime of my money. Call it a silent protest (that ironically is written down).
Some things are better left alone. Hell, they could have gotten will.i.am to write a cheesy track and left the original “We are the World” alone.
As long as we compare the original to the remake, the remake will lose.
*sigh*
And that’s all I have to say.
These were my original thoughts pre-release:
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YouTube is the Devil and Mike Tyson is a Fool (Mike, if you’re reading this I didn’t mean fool in a bad way. I’m definitely laughing with you. Please don’t kill me or eat my children. Thanks in advance.)
Yeah. I can’t stop laughing. Cannot stop laughing. Still can’t stop laughing. Mike Tyson, what have they done to you? Why has this fckery flown under my radar for 10 days since it was posted? Still laughing. I wonder if this is the prequel to a season of “Dancing with the Stars”. We can only hope. He’d make it straight to the finals thanks to fear. Watch the video and at 1:16 peep the “I’ll fuck you til you love me” face.
Yeah, I’m still laughing.
Follow me: twitter.com/throatchopu
Editor’s Note: John Mayer talked about some mysterious hood pass and dropped the n-bomb in his recent Playboy interview. Folks are on fire! John Mayer got waaaaaaaay too comfortable with all that hanging around with Common and Kanye and got caught up with a poor choice of words. VERY poor choice of words! Someone should punch John Mayer in the mouth though for adding that “er” to nigger too. I see you son.
Anyway, with that said, we peeped his overall game in saying his peen is like David Duke. I’ll let @JAlexanderH break it down. Maybe we’re wrong and John Mayer is some racist douchebag though. Either way, folks talking about him.
I really had no idea who John C. Mayer was until this morning.
He was the “Oh that dude” guy I’d see on a commercial or at an event, then immediately forget who he was ten seconds later.
But now I know who he is, what his songs are, where he lives, who he’d been fucking, who he doesn’t want to fuck, and apparently, the philosophical views of his twig and berries.
That last point is the most telling because if you have a younger sister, or you have a female best friend, or hell even a girlfriend, you know why this fucker is fucking brilliant.
Not to sound sexist or anything, but women seem to love to have what somebody else talks about and that is jumped up exponentially when the goods seem to be attached to a douchebag as big as John C Mayer. AND he’s relatively famous. Allegedly.
I realize that, by writing that last sentence, I have made a generalization across many different levels, and shall be ostracized and shit for quite some time. Perhaps I’ve done so because of my continuous state of loss while being a nice guy, and perpetual state of blissful, disgusting win whilst being an asshole in Atlanta (I left that joke there JUST for you all. I’m not a total John C Mayer. I try to keep you entertained). Don’t worry, I’m not a total dickhead these days. I’ve gone back to my nice ways (so to speak) and forsaken the indifference and douchedom that seemed to win so much in a land full of women. That said, I was only an ass to one. But that one knew another. And that one somehow knew another, and that one somehow knew 12 and so on, and so on, and so on. We need a name for this phenomenon, because you ALL know it to be true… “Girl I HEARD about him. Please don’t like him. He don’t like them. He one nights them”… Then one of those three lovely ladies takes the walk of shame within a week. Am I wrong? Please tell me I’m just surrounded by trollops and heauxs and cumbucket ass wenches. PLEASE. Cuz then I’d be both cool AND not have to worry about backlash from my nice ladies that were not harmed in the making of this post.
John C Mayer hasn’t had a bad ass black chick, I bet. I bet he will in the next few months. I GUARANTEE he bags a BAD ass black chick that’s smooth and silky and dark as molasses. She’ll be a model, cuz that’s what famous people do, but he’ll do it. Watch. He doesn’t hate black people. He’s a closeted gay kid being mean to other gays in high school. Read: He’s projecting. Maybe he’s not famous enough. Cuz you know when famous people get famouser, they have to start doing shit out of the ordinary. WASP Missionary just won’t cut it anymore.
Or, he’s a total racist douche. Somehow I’m okay with either. Homer J. Simpson once said “I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homosexuals FA-LAMING!”… I like my racists loud and outspoken as well. I won’t complain about them, because, like when I was in High School, I can’t concentrate when it is quiet. I need background noise so I know what to tune out. Either way, I don’t give a shit, and if you do, yell out a quick “Fuck You” when you see him on Celebrity Fit Club or whatever the fuck reality show will beckon him when he’s no longer in the news.
But he’s still gonna use this to bag a black chick or 12 in this, his 15 minutes of infamy. Watch. So it is written, so shall it be done.
