#unnamedsource confirms why Chris Brown left twitter
Hey, you have to believe the unnamed sources right? Well, apparently this is the reason why Chris Brown deleted his twitter account.
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The Book of Throat Chop: Entry #23
I’m no Scrooge. I enjoy Christmas and the festivities and most of the decorations that come with it. “Most of” being the operative phrase. I absolutely loathe those blow-up lawn ornaments. A dislike I share with my mother. I want to throat chop the owners and she wants to shoot the ornaments with a bb gun. I guess mom and I could run around town like the Bonnie and Clyde of blow up ornament destroying!
It’s like I woke up one holiday season and they were everywhere – Snowmen, Santa Claus, specialty characters and more. Regardless of what they are, I hate them ALL! Hate is a strong word but damn I get angry when I see them. My neighbor across the street puts up a new one every year. I think they put it there just to taunt me. It takes all my strength not to walk across the street and drop kick that thing or to stick a pin in it and laugh while it deflates. The other day while it was snowing I wished that the snow would bury it before it inflated that evening. But it did not bury it, as it inflated right on cue at 5:30pm. They are hideous. They are stupid. They bother me to no end.
I can imagine my dislike of them becoming a nightmare one evening in which I am visited by “Blow-Up Ornaments of Christmas Past” trying to convince me that they are cool and meaningful but even then, I’d still “bah humbug” those foolish things. I’m all about the Christmas holiday but I’m straight on these damn blow-up ornaments. So, throat chop blow-up ornaments, the person who created them, their manufacturers and those that purchased them and placed them in their yards. Otherwise, happy holiday!
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Caption This: “Give us … us free!”
Harpo, who dis man? I caught this “family” photo of Kimora Lee Simmons and her husband Djimon Honsou with the kids. Who’s kids? Russ’ kids! (well, at least two out of the three). Apparently Djimon must’ve been heading to an ugly sweater Christmas party after the picture was over, because DAMN that sweater is ugly. Not even Bill Cosby would rock that joint. The girls sitting up in this picture like, “you ain’t my daddy!” lol! The whole while Djimon is itching to get out of that plaid shirt (I know I would’ve been). Well, I sent this picture out for caption. As always, enjoy!.
@jacobm23: Kimora thinking: “I hope that sumbitch Russell Simmons sees this”
@tamnificent: Why they got djimon in the bill Cosby sweater? *sad face*
@ThaGeNeCySt: Why Did I Get Married
@SinnamonS: “Damn Im stuck with the female tiger”
@SoloDoloRoRo: One o’ these things is not like the other.
@Drea141: “Djimon.. YOU ARE The FATHER!!!”
@IUsed2LoveHer: Djimon: “GIVE US FREE!”
@Reptile214: Give me free from this ugly ass sweater.
@JewelGiroux: She looks fabulous while the rest of us look like we stepped out an LL Bean fcking catalog
@reketa: Dude looking like “Yeah I got yo family” now what nucca.
@BaNkHeAd81: So that’s what finding a raw pink diamond gets ya… A photo op with kimora lee simmons #BloodDiamond
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What if they did a Three’s Company remake?
Remember Three’s Company? I loved that show. I really miss quality sitcoms. There are a few today but Three’s Company was definitely a great show. Sometimes my mind gets to wondering, “what if?” What if someone decided to remake the popular late 70’s and early 80’s sitcom? Well, I went ahead and did the casting, just in case.
Jack Tripper – The swinging bachelor and chef would be played by Justin Timberlake. There is something about JT that I think would fit into this role very nicely. After all, he is bringing “Sexy Back” … still. (shoutout @OCSupreme for the suggestion)
Janet Wood – The always level-headed, yet funny florist would be played by Jean Grae. Yes, Jean Grae the emcee. Jean, while sometimes serious, is witty and funny as hell too. She’d be dope in this role.
Chrissy Snow – The ditsy blonde would be played by Jessica Simpson. Why the hell not? No explanation needed either.
Larry Dallas – The womanizing neighbor would be played by Tiger Woods (yeah, it was a late edition and perhaps a cheap shot, lol). In light of his “indefinite leave of absence from golf” perhaps he’s looking for work and a reason to get out of the house. And being the womanizing neighbor won’t be much of a stretch.
Mr. Furley – The off the wall and flamboyantly dressed landlord would be played by Katt Williams. And every time Katt comes over to the house for maintenance work he’ll say, “Yall keep breaking EVVERRRYTHING … EVVERRRYTHING!”
The Three’s Company remake, it’s just a thought … lol
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You Snowy B*tch!
This video has no real significance other than me testing out recording a video and uploading to twitter from my phone. It was pretty damn cold outside and upstate New York is NOT the business in the winter. I hate the snow. That is all.
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What would have happened if Obama was accepting the “Nobel Rap Prize” instead?
President Barack Obama traveled to Oslo, Norway to accept the Nobel Peace Prize in the face of two wars and protest. In his acceptance speech he acknowledged his role in war.
“We are at war, and I’m responsible for the deployment of thousands of young Americans to battle in a distant land. Some will kill, and some will be killed. And so I come here with an acute sense of the costs of armed conflict — filled with difficult questions about the relationship between war and peace, and our effort to replace one with the other.”
But what if Obama was accepting the “Nobel Rap Prize” instead in Norway? Well, here are five things that may have occurred if that was the case.
- Obama steps to podium: “First off, I’d like to thank Gawd! Without him a brotha wouldn’t be here *looks up towards the sky and points* One love my dude. One love!”
- Obama walks up to the stage with 30 lesser known people who stand around while he gives his acceptance speech.
- Obama steps to the podium: “If you don’t want the President of your country on your peace or in your peace, come sign with America.”
- Obama steps to podium: “Real talk, when I find Bin Laden, it’s not gonna be peaceful. It’s gonna go down like this … Back up and clap ‘em, one in the abdomen. Do me a favor dude, get 2 ice cubes I pass ‘em. Take that ice up for the nicest MC. And please yo, tell BIG, he’s unbelievable. Friend or foe BIOTCH!”
- Obama steps to podium, Kanye snatches mic: “Yo, Mr. President I’m real happy for you and imma let you finish but Bill Clinton was the blackest President of all times! OF ALL TIMES” *shrug*
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The Book of Throat Chop: Entry #22
A friend sent me this link to MBT, the anti-shoe a while back. She probably sent it over to me because I like to poke fun at things on the blog. The thing is, that these anti-kicks poke fun at themselves because they exist.
I reached out to O (my blog partner over at www.themadbloggers.com) to share the link. He sees it and hits me back with “Should not be worn under the influence. Can result in injury and laughter among peers and strangers.”
My question is this, what’s an anti-shoe? Was it sent to earth to ruin shoes as we know them? If they are anti the shoe are they even a shoe or refer to themselves as such? O thought that the anti-shoe was a flip-flop. I thought if you were anti-shoe, you would just kick it barefoot or whatever. Guess I was wrong.
According to the benefits, wearing them will improve your posture. I guess this could be a good thing. Then there is the +9% buttock muscle activity (important if you’re trying to get your Kim Kardashian on ladies). There is also the increased abdominal muscle activity (this must be the improved Kanye West workout plan). Just tell me that they would make me run faster and jump higher and then maybe I might be on board. Nah, who am I kidding, I still wouldn’t be on board with these anti-shoes.
These joints might be comfortable but I’ll never try them on to find out however. I’m just not sure how I feel about wearing a seesaw on my feet as a teeter back and forth with each step. I thought that Vans had some ugly kicks or that Crocs were the worst thing ever invented but this anti-shoe have them all beat by far.
I suggest if you get a pair of these that you buy the Snuggie and one of those Loud n’ Clear earpieces, then step outside and ShamWow your car … in traffic. Throat Chop!
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Caption This: “Roma-roma-mamaa! Ga-ga-ooh-la-la!”
One thing is for certain about Lady Gaga, she doesn’t give a shit and does her own thing. From bird nest masks to your grandmomma’s good laced table cloth, she dresses the way she wants and it’s always talked about. That’s smart and cheap publicity. If she couldn’t sing, that would be one thing but the girl (or whatever) has a voice. Lady Gaga met Queen Elizabeth II Monday night in London looking like a red latex condom or life size twizzler (you choose, lol). I wonder if the Queen has a “Poker Face”. Anyway, I sent this picture out for captions on twitter. Folks definitely kept it entertaining as usual. Enjoy.
@neisha429: Please bend over fair Queen while I spank your bottom and call me Mistress Gaga
@mickey_bish: Queen Elizabeth “Splendid job in new moon!”
@Mish2Mish: Gaga to the Queen: “You ordered a bloody Mary?”
@ocsupreme: In the spirit of the holidays, Lady Gaga thought it would be nice to dress up as a candy cane for the Queen.
@JD_SivadInk: Looks like that entire ensemble is made out of fruit roll ups
@iGo2Far: The nun in the back corner: “This has to be a fckin joke”
@reketa: That little boy is looking at her like ” What the fck is that shit”
@therealamaru: “I’m sorry, where’s the bathroom?”
@SmrtNBuetiful: “Yes your Magesty, that is very nice. Allow me to show you how we tuck our penis in the States.”
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Take them off that pedestal, because they’ll fall anyway …
I really have to think long and hard about a time that I put a celebrity on some type of pedestal. You know why? Because I don’t believe in placing anyone there, especially not some celebrity. This year we’ve watched celebrities go to jail, cheat on their spouses and die. Yeah, regular people do that every day. Nothing to see here folks, nothing to see here. But because of their celebrity and living in the public eye folks think that these celebs are super heroes and some sort of super human. Nope, they’re just human like us. They bleed, breathe and cheat, steal and lie just like every day people. I’m never shocked when a celeb gets caught up in drama. You shouldn’t be either.
As you know we’re going into like week two of this Tiger Woods situation and from jump, I thought it was a silly situation. I also thought from jump, while I joked about it, that Tiger owes us nothing. Nothing at all. Most of the folks passing judgement on him and demanding some sort of explanation don’t help him earn his money. They don’t watch golf or buy many of the products that he endorses. Plus, why should he explain his 45 side pieces to us? Sure, it’s funny but that’s his situation.
I read this great editorial that really summed up this Tiger Woods situation very nicely (weirdly enough, I read it in the newspaper). Figured I’d share some excerpts from that piece. Real talk folks, knock down that pedestal and stop waiting for an explanation.
Tommy Tomlinson: Self-examination in wake of Tiger troubles
I’m not interested in whether Tiger Woods owes us an explanation beyond what he said Wednesday morning: “I have let my family down and I regret my transgressions with all of my heart.”I’m more interested in the explanations we owe him.
Or, maybe, ourselves…
… Can we explain why we still expect gifts to come with grace? If watching celebrities has taught us anything, it’s that talent is doled out with the fairness of a roulette wheel. The finest singers, the boldest painters, the most brilliant politicians — as people, they’re no better than the rest of us, except they’re faced with more temptations. Yet we keep trying to link great skill with great morality, even though when they match up it’s just dumb luck.
It’s fine to admire Tiger for his ability to stripe a drive down the fairway of the 18th hole at the Masters. But that’s what he does. It’s not who he is. To believe otherwise is to be like a child who believes Batman is real …
… We don’t know Tiger Woods. All we know is the little bits we see on the golf course, and the professionally crafted images on commercials, and now this sad little moment in his driveway at 2 in the morning.
Those pieces don’t add up to a real human being.
And maybe the last thing we need to explain to ourselves is why we think they do.
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